I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
