if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
