Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
