office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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