It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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