I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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