woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
