Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
