as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize