i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
