So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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