"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Text me some of your sweat
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