The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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