i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
