playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Come on in and take your pants off
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