You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
