Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
