Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
