When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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