Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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