yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
