Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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