is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
