Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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