I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
