I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
