I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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