I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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