In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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