Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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