38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My breasts were aching with rage.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
