How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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