dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm just crazy horny about you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
