Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
