She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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