Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
