hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
