I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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