no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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