Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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