Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
