spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
