PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
