Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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