apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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