I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
