my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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