he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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