She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
