My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
