I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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