I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
