Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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