no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I puked a lego.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize