Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
