Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I need to stop coming to work sober
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize