remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
