Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
