and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
