We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
