She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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