when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
