My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize