I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
