we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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