It's just like the Real World with babies
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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