I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
