it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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