btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
FUCK WHALES
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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