my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
