I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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