I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
