Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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