omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
