i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
