FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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